Would you stay in an abusive relationship?

I better not see any yesss!And if i do you need to get out of it before it is too late. My friend girl got her head blown off right in front of her child. She was in an abusive relationship, now men can be abuse too by a women. GET OUT!

I was one of those stupid women yes ... I was with him for ten years 5 of those was violent the other 5 mental and violent abuse.

When your in a relationship like that you hope for the kids sake things will get better!

Now i have my head back and living life

Everyone on the outside thinks it's as cut and dried as "Just get out!" Well I can tell you it isn't.

Relationships are never black and white. There's always a grey area. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Some women are just not ready to leave their partners for many reasons.

Financial
Children
Lack of confidence
Lack of self-esteem
No courage
Fear of being outcast

If you know of someone don't abandon them, stick with them, make sure they're ok and when they're ready they'll come to you for the help to escape.

i wouldnt stay in one if i was dating a guy and he started doing that to me i would break it off right then and there.
i wouldnt put up with it.

Good for you darkangel!! I was in an abusive relationship!! It took the death of my son and a mental breakdown to be saved!! I got a divorce(amid his threats to kill me!) and I have not heard from him since!! It was hard, as most things can be!! But there are NO good reasons for staying in an abusive relationship!! It made me stronger and I have never tolerated physical abuse again!! An old boyfriend came up to me in a bar one night and threatened to beat me up for leaving him! I stepped back and told him to go ahead if it would make him feel better!! Well, he stepped back--stunned!! Then two other guys I knew stepped up and restrained him!! I was taking a chance, but I was hoping he was just full of "hot air"!! I never heard from him again either!!
Worse than physical abuse is the mental abuse!! That is what sticks with you forever!! I have had low self esteem problems for more than 30 years because of the mental abuse that started with my first husband and was reinforced by others later!! I have learned to take care of myself and be independent!! I don't NEED a man in my life to take care of me!! So I can be picky about who I get involved with!!
You cannot start the healing process with out makeing the inital break first!! Baby steps!! That is what it takes!!

Alright, I try not to leak out personal information about myself as much as
possible, but I know there are women out there (who may be on here) going
through this and need any help that they can get, so here it goes.

Two years ago I was in a relationship with someone for about a good 13
months (A year and a month) and I was so in love with him in the beginning!
He seemed to be this out-going, sweet, very seductive and attractive guy. As
someone who used to be very depressed and lonely all the time with tons of
family problems, I always looked for someone to relate to and there I met
someone who had a more screwed up life than me, so in my eyes he was my
savior, my angel and my saint who was going to be the one to help me get
through life and would be the only one to understand me. Ha!

More about the relationship:
We got intimate very fast, which got me closer to him and more wrapped up
in him. Within the first month he was very bossy with me, which didn't bother
me that much, I just figured "Alright, maybe he's just the dominant type, we'll
learn to compramise in the future."

Secound month I came upon the fact that he was a jealous freak, and
wouldn't let me have any male friends or look at another man. It bothered
me, but I let it go.

Third month he became verbally abusive to me. That was fine, I'm used to
getting cussed out. However, one day he struck a nerve with something he
said so I spoke my mind and he ended up slapping me. Stupid me, I figured it
was just a little slap and I let it go.

Then as the months went on I got used to getting slapped, then it went on to
getting slapped so hard that I would fall to the floor, then punched in the
rubs and stomache, getting kicked, then eventually one day he was mad at
me for not loaning him money (I wasn't financially good at that time) and we
were in the car outside of a mall. I get my hair grabbed and he slams it into'
the dashboard, spits on me and pushed me out of the car...
Stupid me, I still stayed with him because I felt like it was my fault for not
giving him cash.

All that time, I still cared for him and wanted it to work. Do you know what it
took for me to stop loving and caring for him?

One day I was at his house, and I decided to be nice and do his laundry and
clean up his house while he was on his computer talking to God knows who
on msn. The alarm on my cellphone rang which indicated it was time for me
to take some medication that I was on. He was bored (and thought someoen
was calling me) and wanted to see who was on the phone. I told him the
truth and said, "Nobody, it's just the alarm." And then he said, "Let me see
the phone then." So I handed it to him and started ironing a shirt of his.
Letting him have my phone was a big mistake though because at that time
that cellphone I had, had old numbers from old boyfriends from years ago
with numbers that were already changed. He looked into' my phone and
asked me who a certain person was (which was of course an ex). I told him
straight out, and then explained to him the number was old and that I was
just too lazy to delete it, and that he could delete it if he wanted to. Then he
got pissed and pulleda very f***ed up line on me. "Who the f*** are you to
have a casual attitude with me whore? I dont like you keeping men's
numbers in your phone period." I ended up laughing and told him to calm
down and that it's nothing serious and that he needed to grow up.

....Bad choice of words.

He got really angry, got up out of his computer chair and threw it towards me
(but missed). Then he grabbed my arm and squeezed the f*** out of it
throwing me onto' the ground. Then he picked me up by my hair giving me
the world's hardest punch in the jaw... (Surprisingly no teeth fell out) I tried
to cover my face with my hands but he grabbed my left arm and twisted the
f*** out of it until there was a nice little snap leaving it broken.

...and nope, it's not over.

He decided to slam my head into' the floor.. which left me very dizzy. at this
point I was crying and screaming in pain. That didn't stop him. I got kicked
in the rinbs and stomache while down on the floor... Then he picked up the
iron and burnt the right side of my ribcage... which to this day has no feeling
in it. Then I end up getting dragged by my leg out the front door of his
house with my cellphone getting thrown at me, followed by getting spit on. I
sit there crying in all this pain trying to get up and leave his house as fast as
possible, and end up calling my old next door neighbors to tell them where i
am to come and pick me up and take me to a hospital.

I had some sort of nerve damage on my side, broken arm and a cracked
rincage. That is what it took for me to stop loving him. Only problem is that
then after that I only stayed with him out of fear of being worsely beaten
(possibley killed) if I would have tried to break up with him.

I took months and months of more beatings until an ex of mine who still to
this day cares for me got him arrested. I feel so stupid that I was with him,
and I still have nightmares. No woman deserves to be put through that, and if
you are in a relationship suffering from any abuse you should do what you
can now because it only gets worse.

My sister went thru pretty much the same thing as you decieving eyes, but she made the mistake? of telling me, my brother and my dad. As bad as your situation was and hers was, his just became infinately worse. The three of us went over to his house and beat the ever loving s*** out of him with these warnings. If he ever lifted one finger to my sister he'd get a worse beating, and if he had us arrested then we'd have him arrested for beating up my sister and he'd be in jail with us. He never did talk to my sister again and filed a divorce as unreconcilable differences.

Wish it would have ended like that for me and I had more people on my side ^_^
Bless you for having such a good family and caring that much about your sister. She was
actually smart for telling you guys, because going for one year silently screaming is the
worse feeling in the world.

If you pick your friends well they are as good as family. I don't have a lot of friends. But they are friends not acquaintences. There are people already around you who will be your friend if you let them. I found that out late in life.

Good point. It's just hard when you're afraid to give people that trust.

Remember one thing, If you want a friend you have to be one. Everthing in life is a gamble. Think about it. Nothing is guaranteed. You just have to go with your best guesstimate.

man, most of these posts are about women with abusive boyfriends.


the sad thing is, ive never had a non-abusive girlfriend.

it really sucks, but ive always stuck around. i cant honestly tell you why, because i dont know. maybe its because i feel like crap when im single, too. so maybe i might as well stay in the relationship, for those few good moments, you know?

i mean, my relationship isnt violently or physically abusive, its more mentally stressing and emotionally abusive.

well just like someone else said its not as easy as get out. I was in a abusive relationship with my baby's father and i stayed with him for 4 years in abuse. Before he wasnt like that before i had his baby, then he change but see i was inlove with this man willing to put up with what ever thinking he might change. I caught him cheating several times, He beat me even when i was pregnant with his child he said i was ugly he called me a b****, he took my money everything you can think of he did to me ever reason to break up with someone, i stayed. Why because i fall in love when you truly inlove you will put up with some low low of s***. But you know its not so easy to just get out you know but there is a time when a person cant take no more. Im not with him no more because i relize he will never change with me any way after all i was willing to put up with him........and to all the women and men in abusive reltionships just think if you waiting for that person to change and realize what they have they actually already do thats why they treat you this way because they know they can get away with it. Its like you sitting on a nail its hurting you but you wont get off of it yet becaue its not hurting enough yet. Until it hurts you will go and realize you better without them.

Um, I hate to be the one to bring this up (I don't really, what I really mean is nobody else will) but all these accounts of physical abuse are no different to what you would see happening to people in the street in a fight. It's happened to me and will happen to everybody depending on the area they're in.
Anyway, to answer the question posed to us by the original poster, yes, I would stay in an abusive relationship since I can give as good as I can get.

In psychology we were talking about how people perceive "love" by how they were loved when they were little. Like, if their parents didn't show their love as much, later in life they will look for someone who shows that same amount of love. And how it takes a while to get out of that habit and find someone who loves you the way you want to be loved. I don't know if thats true or not, but I think it makes a bit of sense. Also- I don't think I could stay in an abusive situation ONCE I realized it was abusive. I think sometimes it can take a while to realize a relationship is abusive, not all abusive relationships are as obvious as others. It could be emotionally abusive but you feel a lot for the person so it's not as obvious as a physical abuse.