More Funnies

@rondetto Said

Summer school holidays were over and young Jack returned to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.
"Wait a minute," mother said. "I had Jack with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."

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I got my wife a metal detector as a present, but she didn't like it.
Strange, as she always likes to dig up things from the past.

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It has been estimated that over 70% of women have used vibrators,
The other 30% buy new ones.

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Mick and paddy start a removal business, paddy is struggling up the road with a wardrobe on his back a friend asks "Where’s mick I thought he was helping you?" Paddy replies "He is he’s in the wardrobe holding the clothes up!"

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Paddy just landed a new job fitting mirrors on bedroom wardrobes and bathrooms. On reflection It's just something he could see himself doing!

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My mate asked me 'How much does your wife spend on a bottle of wine?'
I said about 20 minutes!

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"I have travelled just about all over the world."
"Wow, you must know geography well?"
"Oh yes, I spent 2 months there once."

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I saw a council worker tread on a snail. I asked him why he did that.
He said it had been following him round all morning.

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